Standard Diclaimer

James D Bearden 

What the hell is an aluminum falcon?
The shirts against the blouses.

Standard Disclaimer

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No trespassing. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. As seen on TV. No hunting. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Edited for television. Post office will not deliver without postage. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Sign here without admitting guilt. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Edited for television. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Package sold by weight, not volume. This page left intentionally blank. Your mileage may vary.

This supersedes all previous notices.